Help me, please

I’m staring at your picture now,
Clutched tight in my hand.
Trying to work it out in my head,
And trying to understand.

You abandoned me so quickly,
And broken, I’m left here,
Crying out the memories;
A different one per tear.

Nothing we can say or do,
Can change what I have done
And nothing I can say or do,
Can change what Ive become.

No matter what you say to me,
I know that I’m to blame,
Cause If Id just took your keys
All things would be the same.

So I’m sorry for the troubles,
And problems I have made,
And I’m so sorry that I couldn’t change,
And drive you anyway.

I know your aware that I hate myself,
And now I hate me more,
Because again, I cant change the past,
To how it was before.

I cant take back all that Ive done,
And everything Ive not,
Cause I know more than anyone,
Whats done cant be forgot.

But although unheard, I’m sorry.
Isn’t that what all drunks say?
Well for tonight, Ill dry my eyes
And put your face away.

But as I turn to put your picture,
I set my beer by the door,
Something shiny glints at me,
That I simply cant ignore.

I contemplated slowly,
But still I took them out,
While morals merely whispered,
All temptation did was shout.

So I’ll take my keys and car
to the place where you met Christ.
Ive made the same mistake again,
But Ill make it more than twice.

Help me, please.

My Heart Aches

My heart aches when I talk to you
My heart aches when I don’t hear from you
My heart aches when I long for you

I don’t know why
You’ve taken over my thoughts
I can’t explain

You’re still a stranger
Far away
I want you close by

I miss your embrace
Holding you close
My heart aches

I miss you!

I miss you daddy

Daddy come back.
I want you back.
Why did you have to go.
It’s just not the same without you.
We still get mail with your name on it.
It makes me sad every time i see the envelopes.
Mommy’s always crying.
She’s always yelling too.
She makes me cry a lot but not as much as you.
I’m always thinking about you.
Your always making me teary-eyed.
I love you daddy why did you have to go.
I miss you a lot but you obviously don’t know.
Otherwise you wouldn’t have had to go.
God makes me mad because he took you away.
It’s hard not to cry in church but i go anyway.
Sometimes when I’m all alone and i have time to think.
I think about you and i cry and cry and cry.
Some people think “oh you should be over this”
But then i think to myself you don’t know how it feels to be in this pain
or to how hard it is to make it go away.
Councilors try to help me but they don’t help at all.
My head hurts all the time, especially when I’m about to cry.
Its hard to type down these words as tears blur up my eyes.
When i try to speak about you i choke and then i start to cry
I miss you daddy why did you have to go.


I don’t know if you’re pushing me away or pulling me closer
I don’t know where I stand
I don’t know what you want from me
Or if you care at all

Your words lash out and hurt
Then lovingly draw me in
I don’t know what you want from me
Do you want this to end

Don’t turn tables
Or place this on me
Just come out and tell me
What it is you want

I can’t read minds
I don’t know where I stand
Are you pushing me away
Or are you going to finally let me in

Toss and Turn

I toss and turn in my sleep
Thoughts of you in my mind
Slowly creep

Your indifference
Gets me so
I can’t seem to let go

Your warmth
Your tight embrace
Your smiling face

They haunt my thoughts
I can’t forget
I still haven’t heard from you yet

My friends console
Tell me to move on
I can’t seem to let go

Your lack of care
Your silence
Were you ever there

I toss and turn in my sleep
Thoughts of you in my mind
Slowly creep

(Sad poems) Anti black sentiments/Anti white sentiments

For five hundred years
They could have taught us
To love and to build this
Beautiful country together
Were they not so shortsighted
And farsighted enough this country
Would today have been the Eldorado
Of our reality and not the pipe
Dream of some misdirected thrill
Seeker of the high seas…
Five hundred years have gone down
The drain and we’re still fighting
The wars of ethnic cleansing
Nation against nation and the tribal
Chieftains are waging their crusades
Of tribal chauvinism and they teach us
The anti black sentiments of racial
Superiority and mental subjugation
They hammer into our heads the anti
White sentiments in the ghettos and
We grow up never knowing how to trust
Each other and this is what our ancestors
Have handed down to us from generation
To generation we live and sleep in the
Sure knowledge that tomorrow we don’t build
We carry on with the mindless destruction
BanishedFairy (a.k.a ngaka motaung)